The HCG Diet And Licking Sugar Cookies

This is my second bout with this diet and i'm going to be honest... There is a lot to love and hate about it.  If you don't know what it is, here's the low down: Take the HCG drops 3 times a day and only eat 500 calories a day for 3 weeks.  Then for another 3 weeks after that NO SUGAR and NO BREAD.  There are a TON of food restrictions so that way you can get down to weighing less than a ton.  That's the diet in a nutshell.  And if you scroll down to my last blog I posted you'll see that the last time I posted ANYTHING was the last time I was on this diet!  Horrible... but moving on...

The first time I did this diet over a year ago I was in hell.  I was working in a restaurant and had to smell all the yummy goodness I couldn't eat 5 days a week.  The one thing that kept me from sticking my face straight into a fondue pot full of cheese was the fact that every day I got up and weighed myself, I was 2lbs less than the day before.  Overall I lost 15lbs.  You may ask, "If you lost that much weight back then why are are you doing it again?"  Well let me tell you... I thought to myself that since i'm thin and happy now I can eat whatever I want.  Any fat that was left in my body multiplied at the speed of light with that thought, and came back with a vengeance this summer.

So here I am again... whenever I tell people what the diet consists of they either say i'm either out of my mind or the diet must be horrible for me. Yadda yadda yadda... I don't care. I literally just got rid of 9 pounds in 6 days.  Find me another diet that makes me lose weight this fast!  Thank god i'm not the only one doing this right now either... Bear Fox Trot is in the fox hole with me too on this thing so it's nice to have some support.

My Dinner

My Lunch

Salsa is your friend on this diet.

This diet comes with a lot of challenges.  Like I said before there are a ton of food restrictions.  My meals consist of spinach with lemon and pepper under grilled chicken with some spices added.  Or crab with cucumbers and salsa. Nowadays my shopping list has decreased to only buying about 7 items when I go to the grocery store.  The other day I found myself running past the wine and liquor isle. If I had stopped for even a second you would have found me sitting on the floor drinking straight out of a chardonnay bottle like a baby.  That's right NO ALCOHOL.

Food that fell from heaven...

Not to mention that in that same shopping trip I got caught doing something a lot of people might think odd.  In order to get to the produce section at the grocery store I have to walk through the bakery.  My vice (along with a many other things) is those damn sugar cookies.  You know the ones that look like they fell straight out of Channing Tatum's gorgeous abs?  Ya those ones.  So i'm walking by minding my own business when I look over and see them sitting there so innocently... Any sane person would have kept walking to healthy haven.  What do I do? Pick up a box and smell them.  That's right... I smelled them... I drank in that oh so wonderful scent with my eyes closed and a look of sheer bliss on my face.  I would have even gone as far as to lick the box had I not been interrupted by a nosy broad shooting me the 'WTF are you doing?' glare.  I quickly returned to box to its place on the shelf and ran over to the vegetables wondering where my self respect and will power went.  When I got home I seriously considered calling a friend and telling them i'd pay good money if they did my grocery shopping from now on.

I'm leaving you today with a picture of the last meal that I had the day before I started this crazy diet.  And yes.... I consider it a meal.

I'm the one on the left :-)

Crash Diets Lead To BIG Accidents Part 1

It's all in the title folks...

    I know it has been forever and a day since I've blogged.  I can chalk it up to the sheer amount of research I've been doing for this blog ie dieting, minimal exercising, eating everything in sight... But that's only partly true.  In all honesty I went on one diet, ran a total of 2 times, and did in fact eat everything in sight.  Let me take you back to June of last year...

   While I was at my ritual 6 week hair appointment at my friend Renee's Salon we got to talking about this diet she had done for about a week... It was called the HCG Diet.  To only further my curiosity her next client (an old co-worker of mine) showed up early to his hair appointment and began to tell us that he was on that very same diet.  He looked great!  He told me he had lost about 22lbs at that point and had only been on it for about 3 weeks!  Doing the math in my head I thought 'I would be a fool not to this too!  It's only 6 weeks, and I could easily get rid of that pesky 10 lbs that's been plaguing me for the last 3 years in a week and half! What really got me interested though was when he said 'When you're on the diet, they tell you to only do light workouts, but it's not something they encourage.'  Holy Crap!!!! I'd hit the mother load of all diets!  I'd lose weight at lightning speed and I didn't have to work out to do it?!?! SOLD!

   So my next step was to buy what was left of Renee's diet kit she hadn't finished and I was on my way to being super model thin...

   Now let me tell you what is required to do this diet...

1) No more than 500 calories a day for 3 weeks
2) Take HCG drops in the morning and at night
3) Vitamin B drops once every morning
4) Follow the diet plan TO. THE. T.
5) Maintain diet plan #2 for 3 weeks after to keep the weight off. (I must have missed that part)

   I know you read the whole 500 calorie part and almost peed your pants... trust me... I almost did too.  Not to mention that everyone you know will think you're freaking out of your mind to attempt such a crazy thing... and to them I said 'Just wait and see!'

  The first week and a half was awesome!  I noticed how much my hand on it's own volition would reach for the tortilla chips at work and how I salivated when I looked at the Oreo Cookie crumbs we use for the chocolate.... But I persevered and stuck to my guns. What made it easy was the fact that everyday I woke up I was so excited to weight myself and see that another 2 pounds had left the building magically over night. 

  Then it happened... that thing that happens to all women once a month.  It slowed my fast paced weight loss down to a sloths pace... I was pissed!  My cravings for anything sweet kicked up to high gear and needless to say I wasn't the most fun person to be around.  At this point I was down to below what I weighed in high school, but I wanted more...

 Week 3 I found myself eating about 410 calories of food so that way I could have that 90 calorie Grey Goose Martini at the end of my day.  This is total sabotage!  I figured since my monthly bill had stopped the weight loss I could cheat a bit... So wrong... I gained 2 lbs the next day!


To be continued...



  

Holy Crap!

Has it really been this long since I've posted anything? No wonder I'm fat, unhappy with everything I wear, and completely sabotaging my New Years resolution only 5 days into 2013!

Time to jump back on the wagon... Er... Treadmill... And get my butt off the couch.

Look forward to many new and exciting blogs to come this year! Albeit a little less deprecating I'm sure...

It seems to be working

Well, I've been eating healthy and juicing for about a week and a half and it seems to be working. If my scale is anywhere near my doctor's, I've lost 10 pounds so far! This morning, I had lost three inches off my belly and I didn't have to wear a sweater over my shirt because it hung down enough! Fuck yeah!
Tomorrow I'm going in for an MRI and I'm really nervous about it. I'm trying to channel my anxiety into something productive (like this blog....) instead of eating. I don't think I'm going to talk about food and what I would like to do to it right now because then I'll keep thinking about it and then eventually do it.
Maybe I'll make some crab salad. I have imitation crab, plain yogurt and green onions and seasonings, so i don't need any ingredients. I think I have some chicken in there as well to make chicken salad. If use plain yogurt as well as some vegenaise, it'll be a lot healthier. As long as I have onion powder and garlic salt, it'll be good. :)

Cheater cheater burger eater!

Yup, I said it. I'm on day 3 and today I ate a cheeseburger. A junior cheeseburger from Wendy's on their 99¢ menu. It was 350 calories of GLORIOUSNESS with 19 grams of fat and worth every one of those 27 carbs. As was the junior frosty that came free with the keytag. Mmmmm. Froooooostyyyy.
Other than my insane craving, I've been doing pretty good. Our fridge is full of spinach, apples, carrots, grapes, oranges, tomatoes, cucumber, lettuce, etc... At work, I've been eating salads with balsalmic vinegar and last night for dinner i had a baked potato.
I still get really hungry at times; I don't think I'm drinking enough water, which is ironic because I've been peeing like a racehorse. I've been sleeping really well... almost TOO well. I don't want to get out of bed in the morning because I'm so freaking comfortable.
I'm just hoping that I'll get some damn energy so I can get off my ass and start working out here pretty soon, because I haven't lost a fucking pound or an inch so far....

Ugh! I haven't reached my goal in 3 days!! I should quit!

I'M SO HUNGRY!!!

Ugh, day one of juicing.
I'm freaking starving. You know how people will say, "Oh, the first couple days are the hardest, it gets better?" Well, I want to cut them with a machete, pour salt on it and then say, "Oh, the first couple of days are the hardest. It'll get better." Even Joe, the guy from "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" said, "The first couple of days are the worst. You don't want to be around people, you don't want to be around food."
For the first few days, I'll be juicing as well as eating mostly plant based foods. Breakfast was a juice made from: kale, spinach, cucumber, an apple, and some grapes (I think.... sounds about right....) For lunch and a snack, I took a couple of mason jars with: kale, spinach, carrot, celery, an orange, a lime, an apple and a couple of small radishes.
Breakfast wasn't too bad. Had a hint of sweetness and I really like cucumber, so it was refreshing. The other one is a TOTALLY different story. I have discovered I'm REALLY not a fan of celery. I put two stalks in with my juice and it was completely overpowering... and gross. Well, I thought so. I managed to have one and gave the other to my coworker Kara.
I also had a banana, a salad for lunch, some fruit and came home and had a tomato cucumber salad with a couple of imitation crab sticks.
Did I mention I'M SO HUNGRY! And I'm so tired. My brain is gone and I'm pretty sure I'm not making any sense at the moment.....

Tomorrow

Ugh, tomorrow starts the juice fast. I have a fridge full of apples, oranges, carrots, celery, kale, radishes, cucumbers, tomatoes, pineapple, grapes, spinach and oranges. I've eaten my last western bacon cheeseburger with zucchini and drank my last bottle of champagne for awhile (well, almost... i'm on the last glass right now...)
At this point, I'm nervous, excited and trying not to be hungry just thinking about it. But I'm also looking forward to feeling better. They say that 30% of your body's energy goes to digesting, so since I'm taking some of the work out of it, hopefully it will work in y favor to get my fat ass out of bed and start DOING something.