I'll admit that sometimes I spend more money BEFORE my vacation than ON my vacation. It never fails that my wardrobe is always missing some key items that I just HAVE TO run out and buy (ie, torturous heels, skanky dress, big blingy necklace, etc) This time it was all of the above, so I headed out to the mall as quickly as my car would take me to find these missing pieces.
Now if anyone is like me, I sometimes dread going into the mall or clothing store with nothing really in mind of what i'm looking for. Most of the time I hit the dressing room with about 20 different items and return all of them with a big ol' frown on my face because none of them looked fantastic on me. Then the journey continues to about 5 different stores before I finally give up and head home with my head hung low and my confidence a little worse for the wear. This time I was afraid that it was going to be no exception, so you can believe my surprise when I found the perfect dress at the first stop!
Yesterday I headed back to the store that I bought my awesome 70's roller disco outfit at in hopes that they would have a Vegas worthy dress. In about 10 minutes of grabbing just about everything I liked I headed to the torture chamber...I mean dressing room...to see how they sized up. After tearing a few of them right off and trying not to laugh, I found this cute little strapless and short (well short for me anyways) cocktail dress.
Only problem was that it was just a little too loose for my taste... and this is Vegas we're talking about, so tighter is always better. One thing I liked about it was that is fit comfortably and I wouldn't have to worry about showing too much T and A. The only problem is that I know I'd be doing the 'pull up' 'pull down' all night. ( Dress starts to fall almost to the point of showing some nipple sunrise, so you pull it up. Dress starts to ride up when you're cutting a rug on the dance floor, so you pull it down) It's such a pain in ass...
So my solution to this was to try on a size smaller. Now this time I had to shimmy into the damn thing and not breath for about 30 seconds while I attempted to zip it up. Once on though, it didn't look that bad. At this moment I started running through the pros and cons of purchasing THIS size...
Pros:
- If I remember to stand up straight it'll look great
- Because I can barely breathe i'll be less likely to eat the day I have to wear it.
- It's so tight I wouldn't even have to wear a bra!
- Because it's so tight it sucks me in, so I look thinner.
- When I get rid of more weight it'll fit me great!
Cons:
- I won't be able to breathe, eat, or drink.
- If I forget to stand up straight and suck it in, i'll look like a down comforter trying to be shoved back into the original bag.
- It might severely hinder my awesome dance moves that i've been working on.
- Consequently, if said dance moves are attempted, it might just split open revealing by awesomely white ass.
- If I even gain back 5 pounds there isn't a chance in hell i'll be able to ever wear it again.
In the end, the pros won out the cons, and I bought the smaller size. In order to make sure it fits perfect, i'm wearing this awesome tummy and butt-sucker -inner thingy I bought a while ago (Thanks Dr. Oz). This way I don't have to worry about standing up straight, sucking it in, or my ass being exposed at any point.
Lesson learned: Sometimes buying the smaller size is the better option. Just make sure it's not too small lest you look like this:
hey, i thought this was anonymous! why'd you put my picture up? hahahahahaha
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