I know what you're thinking... 2 blogs in one day!? Truth be told i've been sitting on this video for about 2 months now, and as of today I was sick of attempting to figure out how to fix it, re-work it, etc... So I just decided to dive right in and post the damn thing.
It's just a compilation of the funnies clips from the night my friend and I decided to drink.... aaaaand then decided it would be a good idea to work out. It really would have worked better if it was the other way around. I know this... So in the following video you'll see why it doesn't work to drink and workout... enjoy!
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Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Bikini? Yes Indeedy!
Yes, I am aware that the title on this blog is cheesy. Ask me if I care...
So where to start? (I'm just letting you know that my cursor has been blinking at me for the last 5 minutes at this point...)
3 weeks ago I signed on to do this 90 day goal setting program, and as a coach I also have to set a goal to work on for the 90 days. The goal, you may ask, was of course a fitness goal. My end result to prove that i've been working on it? To post a picture of me in a bikini here on this blog for the whole world to see! (And there can be no photoshopping of any kind, nor spray tanned abs.) Needless to say my butt muscles clenched a little when I said this out loud to my coaching group... First step to getting a goal: Tell everyone so they can hold you to it, right? Crap.
So now i'm telling everyone that happens to run across this blog too... Why? Because I want to keep my butt muscles clenched so I actually get it done and look fab (not flab) come 3 months from now.
Now on to my regimen: I'm going to start by downloading this awesome nutrition plan (phase 1) from LiveFitRevolution.com. It's a 6 week nutrition plan that gets rid of a ton of weight! I watched my mom go through this program so i've seen the results. This is no time to mess around with fad diets. I'm grabbing this goal by the horns and riding it all the way to the skinny and fit finish line people! Also on this website they have videos that you can follow working with a kettlebell. Done and done!
I'm also working on posting at least 3 video blogs in the 90 days as well... The first one is going to be a rough cut so excuse the sloppiness of it all. Here's just a hint of what it in-tells... Drinking- How its not a good idea when you are working out.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
FML
Seriously, I hate my body at the moment.
For the first time in my life, it's not because "I'm totally having a fat day so instead of doing something about it, I'm going to drown my sorrows in a Western Bacon Cheeseburger, fried zucchini with two containers of ranch and a Nestea Raspberry Iced Tea and pick up a pint of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food to watch while I watch Golden Girls alone night" (consuming 1450 calories, 80 grams of fat, 143 carbs and 2730 grams of sodium with dinner and 1120 calories, 52 grams of fat, 148 carbs and 340 mg of sodium while sitting on my fat ass later that evening).
I hate it because I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing and my body isn't doing what it's supposed to be doing. If you read my last post, you saw that I'm supposed to cut out gluten and sugar and sugar substitutes, etc, etc, etc. So, I've been doing that. I only jacked up once and went to Taco Bell. I had just gotten done working out and was CRAVING a burrito. Like MAD craving. I had to run to the store to get a couple of things and there was a Taco Bell on the way. Soooo, I decided to test this whole gluten theory AND fulfill my craving. Bad idea. Within an hour, I was feeling even more bloated than I had been earlier that day. I thought that would be almost impossible.
I hate it because I've been doing the right things. I haven't been using any artificial sweeteners or processed sugar and I've been ingesting minimal raw sugar. I've been eating low fat. I haven't been eating gluten. I've been making dinner at home and I feel like a fucking rabbit because I eat tons of salads with dressing on the side where I dip my fork in so I get minimal calories. I've been eating the Activia. I've been taking Benefiber (3x a day when I remember, but at least twice). I've been drinking tons of water. I pee like twelve times a day. But for the love of all that is holy, I can't poo like I used to! I'm still so backed up. Today was the first day that I was able to poo three times. I feel like going out and buying a lottery ticket!
I've been working out as well. I'm lucky enough to have a gym and spa at my work that I have access to. I'm thinking of becoming a regular in the steam room with all the old hags with too much money and nothing better to do. I've been parking further away and taking the stairs. I've been doing what I can.
Even after the religious experiences I had on the throne today, I still feel so bloated. This is one of the signs of gluten intolerance AND IBS. Greeeaaaat. This is one of the reasons I went to the doctor in the first place. It usually takes two weeks to see some relief from gluten intolerance and I'm a week in. So, this is good. But, why all the anger at my body, you're probably asking?
After all this crap (or, rather, not?), and after SOME relief, I still haven't lost any weight. After ALL the salads, all the fruit, all the vegetables, all the homemade crab salad, all the lowfat pad thai, no bread, no ice cream, no cookies, no french fries, no cheeseburgers, no soda, no fruit punch, no Crystal Light, no mac and cheese, no alfredo pasta, no pizza, no frozen custard even though there is a Culver's next door.
I'm hoping those blood tests come back that I have something wrong and that the doctors can fix. I dunno. Maybe I ate a watermelon seed and I have one growing in my belly. Maybe I accidentally ingested a parasite that has grown into an alligator. Maybe I have a weird biological glitch that causes the air I breathe to turn into sugar. Son. Of. A. Bitch.
For the first time in my life, it's not because "I'm totally having a fat day so instead of doing something about it, I'm going to drown my sorrows in a Western Bacon Cheeseburger, fried zucchini with two containers of ranch and a Nestea Raspberry Iced Tea and pick up a pint of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food to watch while I watch Golden Girls alone night" (consuming 1450 calories, 80 grams of fat, 143 carbs and 2730 grams of sodium with dinner and 1120 calories, 52 grams of fat, 148 carbs and 340 mg of sodium while sitting on my fat ass later that evening).
I hate it because I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing and my body isn't doing what it's supposed to be doing. If you read my last post, you saw that I'm supposed to cut out gluten and sugar and sugar substitutes, etc, etc, etc. So, I've been doing that. I only jacked up once and went to Taco Bell. I had just gotten done working out and was CRAVING a burrito. Like MAD craving. I had to run to the store to get a couple of things and there was a Taco Bell on the way. Soooo, I decided to test this whole gluten theory AND fulfill my craving. Bad idea. Within an hour, I was feeling even more bloated than I had been earlier that day. I thought that would be almost impossible.
I hate it because I've been doing the right things. I haven't been using any artificial sweeteners or processed sugar and I've been ingesting minimal raw sugar. I've been eating low fat. I haven't been eating gluten. I've been making dinner at home and I feel like a fucking rabbit because I eat tons of salads with dressing on the side where I dip my fork in so I get minimal calories. I've been eating the Activia. I've been taking Benefiber (3x a day when I remember, but at least twice). I've been drinking tons of water. I pee like twelve times a day. But for the love of all that is holy, I can't poo like I used to! I'm still so backed up. Today was the first day that I was able to poo three times. I feel like going out and buying a lottery ticket!
I've been working out as well. I'm lucky enough to have a gym and spa at my work that I have access to. I'm thinking of becoming a regular in the steam room with all the old hags with too much money and nothing better to do. I've been parking further away and taking the stairs. I've been doing what I can.
Even after the religious experiences I had on the throne today, I still feel so bloated. This is one of the signs of gluten intolerance AND IBS. Greeeaaaat. This is one of the reasons I went to the doctor in the first place. It usually takes two weeks to see some relief from gluten intolerance and I'm a week in. So, this is good. But, why all the anger at my body, you're probably asking?
After all this crap (or, rather, not?), and after SOME relief, I still haven't lost any weight. After ALL the salads, all the fruit, all the vegetables, all the homemade crab salad, all the lowfat pad thai, no bread, no ice cream, no cookies, no french fries, no cheeseburgers, no soda, no fruit punch, no Crystal Light, no mac and cheese, no alfredo pasta, no pizza, no frozen custard even though there is a Culver's next door.
I'm hoping those blood tests come back that I have something wrong and that the doctors can fix. I dunno. Maybe I ate a watermelon seed and I have one growing in my belly. Maybe I accidentally ingested a parasite that has grown into an alligator. Maybe I have a weird biological glitch that causes the air I breathe to turn into sugar. Son. Of. A. Bitch.
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