Crash Diets Lead To BIG Accidents Part 1

It's all in the title folks...

    I know it has been forever and a day since I've blogged.  I can chalk it up to the sheer amount of research I've been doing for this blog ie dieting, minimal exercising, eating everything in sight... But that's only partly true.  In all honesty I went on one diet, ran a total of 2 times, and did in fact eat everything in sight.  Let me take you back to June of last year...

   While I was at my ritual 6 week hair appointment at my friend Renee's Salon we got to talking about this diet she had done for about a week... It was called the HCG Diet.  To only further my curiosity her next client (an old co-worker of mine) showed up early to his hair appointment and began to tell us that he was on that very same diet.  He looked great!  He told me he had lost about 22lbs at that point and had only been on it for about 3 weeks!  Doing the math in my head I thought 'I would be a fool not to this too!  It's only 6 weeks, and I could easily get rid of that pesky 10 lbs that's been plaguing me for the last 3 years in a week and half! What really got me interested though was when he said 'When you're on the diet, they tell you to only do light workouts, but it's not something they encourage.'  Holy Crap!!!! I'd hit the mother load of all diets!  I'd lose weight at lightning speed and I didn't have to work out to do it?!?! SOLD!

   So my next step was to buy what was left of Renee's diet kit she hadn't finished and I was on my way to being super model thin...

   Now let me tell you what is required to do this diet...

1) No more than 500 calories a day for 3 weeks
2) Take HCG drops in the morning and at night
3) Vitamin B drops once every morning
4) Follow the diet plan TO. THE. T.
5) Maintain diet plan #2 for 3 weeks after to keep the weight off. (I must have missed that part)

   I know you read the whole 500 calorie part and almost peed your pants... trust me... I almost did too.  Not to mention that everyone you know will think you're freaking out of your mind to attempt such a crazy thing... and to them I said 'Just wait and see!'

  The first week and a half was awesome!  I noticed how much my hand on it's own volition would reach for the tortilla chips at work and how I salivated when I looked at the Oreo Cookie crumbs we use for the chocolate.... But I persevered and stuck to my guns. What made it easy was the fact that everyday I woke up I was so excited to weight myself and see that another 2 pounds had left the building magically over night. 

  Then it happened... that thing that happens to all women once a month.  It slowed my fast paced weight loss down to a sloths pace... I was pissed!  My cravings for anything sweet kicked up to high gear and needless to say I wasn't the most fun person to be around.  At this point I was down to below what I weighed in high school, but I wanted more...

 Week 3 I found myself eating about 410 calories of food so that way I could have that 90 calorie Grey Goose Martini at the end of my day.  This is total sabotage!  I figured since my monthly bill had stopped the weight loss I could cheat a bit... So wrong... I gained 2 lbs the next day!


To be continued...