What's Will Power? Some dude I've never met.

Hey Christina here!

So something funny happened to me today.... I ate like C.R.A.P. This isn't the funny part though. The funny thing is that 3 people told me that I look good and have lost weight. WTF??One person even said it as I was loading up my heavy duty paper plate with Papa John's pizza and a side of ranch dressing. (Okay that one person was my mom, and she bought the pizza so I had to eat it.)

But what's more important about all of this is the reason why I decided to clear my schedule of health and fitness and filled it in with time slots of carbs instead. I'll tell you why! Its because I know i'm going to start that damn healthy Isagenix Cleanse next Monday taking away everything I enjoy to eating. So, in the meantime, I'm going to eat as much crappy food as I can up until Sunday at 11:59pm, effectively making it harder for my body to detox. Stupid? Absolutely. Does this sort of behavior help? NOOOOOOO

So to make up for the stupid decisions of today I am going to eat like a health nut tomorrow. Also, to kick off the day i'm going running with some of the girls who joined my Facebook women's fitness group. My good friends (this is were I insert fake names to protect their identities) Feather, her husband Tustin, Bennifer, and my Nother are all joining me for a brisk run, walk, and jog around the Fullerton Loop at 8am. I haven't heard from my usual loop partner Jamie (sorry.... I couldn't think of anything that rhymed), but who knows... its still early in the night.

While i'm here, I would like to commend my friend 'Muffin Top' for jumping head first into this challenge with me and to all of you who have made the choice to follow these crazy escapades. I truly appreciate it more than you know! If anybody wants to get involved and get in shape please let me know in a comment below and i'll get you 'into the loop!'

ah, the restaurant industry

Today was the first day at work since I began this journey. It is a hot zone of temptation. There is soda and bread in unlimited supply and a dessert cook, Jose, who I swear is one of Satan's secretaries because he is always offering chocolate. Or cookies. Or whipped cream. Or marshmallows. Or mini M&M's. He's one that likes "meat on the bones" and today you would have thought that I told him his puppy died when I turned down his offer for a piece of broken Hershey's milk chocolate (we have s'mores on our menu, but they require the chocolate bar to be unbroken and the receiving department apparently hasn't gotten the memo, so the broken pieces end up in a dish in the bread station for anyone who cares to indulge.)
We also have a bread cart that, for a carb FIEND, is a one way ticket to Heaven. It has corn bread and epi french rolls and asiago peppercorn breadsticks and breadbowls and slider buns and everything else that somehow manages to stick to my thighs when I just walk past it. The management doesn't mind if we grab a piece of bread real quick to snack on if we're hungry. And who likes just plain bread? We have dips! Katamala olive aioli (mayonnaise based) and poblano pesto (oil based) and ranch and peanut butter and jelly and regular butter and BBQ sauce and marmalade. OH GOD! SOMEBODY STOP ME!!
Despite all this temptation, I learned something about myself today. I had to consciously stop myself. We have a special "feature" menu every month and since today started a new month, we had to taste it. What was the first thing brought into the room? Blueberry pie with vanilla bean ice cream and raw sugar on top. Are you kidding me? I debated because I'm trying to cut out sugar, but then I realized that there is going to be a lifetime of desserts and I need to learn portion control, so I had two bites. And stopped. Whereas normally I'd be the one polishing it off. I had two bites of the corn puree and two bites of the red tomato gazpacho. A MIRACLE in my world.
Throughout the night, I had to stop myself for reaching for a piece of bread, or a piece of chocolate, or a swig of soda. All these things I literally went for subconsciously. Got ready to pick it up and pop it in my mouth. I stopped and debated and had an "a ha!" moment where I realized just HOW much snacking I do!
I went out after work with one of the girls. It was her 6 year anniversary and her boyfriend was at home asleep because he has to be awake early. We went to Zen32, which is a local sushi place with reverse happy hour. DILEMMA! Cocktail or no cocktail? Sushi or no sushi? So, once again choosing lifestyle change, I had ONE drink (well rum and diet) and a hand roll (that i ate around the rice) and a few more pieces of crab and shrimp and what not. I DID give in and have two spicy crab wontons, but I just ate the middle and left the crispy triangled ends.
Overall, it was a good day and I feel pretty good about the choices I made. Granted, according to my SparkPeople daily nutrition breakdown I had too many carbs, but I'll stay away from them tomorrow.
Honestly, I highly recommend using one of those sites to track your caloric intake. You'll be shocked. SHOCKED.

Welcome Kit

I think gyms should offer a Welcome Kit. It would be available to new members or those who haven't been there in six months or more. It would include: a hand towel (to wipe off equipment), a water bottle, a mini stick of deodorant, a magazine, a bottle of advil, and a bullet to bite on for when you get out of bed the next morning. H.o.l.y. c.r.a.p.

Blazing Sun vs Me

Lobster Face here!

It's Christina writing, and today I realized that there is definitely a down side to fitness outdoors... it's called a sunburn. I am as red as the shirt that I am wearing right now and it ain't pretty. Freeze and I headed out on this new patch of trails I found last week and went exploring. Instead of running, we power walked the whole way which kept us in the sun a lot longer than I had planned. It was a really fun trail and offered a lot of different sceneries to look at (ie...hot guy running with his shirt off).

After our hour and a half workout we headed to her pool for some R&R and to catch some more rays. Now just so you all know, Freeze is a very very very tan white girl, who I swear can pass for a blonde and blue eyed pacific islander. I thought I could kick it in the sun as long as her, but judging by my sun smacked complexion that isn't the case. (This is where my need to compete came and bit me in the ass.)

Now that my sob story is out of the way...

Last night I was talking to my friend Ashkan, whom i refer to as Mr. Buff Dude, about the blog and what I was planning. He told me that when most people start a workout routine that they usually plateau around the month mark. This makes total sense to me, but I can honestly say I've only stuck to one type of exercise or diet that lasted me longer than a month. (It was roughly 3 or 4 summers ago when a friend and I would go to the gym EVERY SINGLE DAY and putz around like we knew what we were doing. I just liked to go and watch this crazy gymnast dude that would do these stretches that would make any girl jealous! Any woman who could bend herself into a pretzel like that would have Noooooo problem finding a date.)

All of that aside, I did realize that after a month we had to "up" and add more numbers to whatever machine we were on, treadmill we were running, or time spent on the big balls. (You know those big balls every gym has that are sometimes used for pilates exercises?) And after about 3 or 4 months we just stopped going. We had effectively burnt (no pun intended) ourselves out and stopped seeing results.

Then I remembered seeing an infomercial about that Insanity workout DVD set. They kept talking about MUSCLE CONFUSION and how you needed to switch up what you were doing every month or so to reap the best results. After a while your muscles will start to become immune (for lack of a better word) to any workout you've done for a long period of time. The problem that my friend and I had was that we were doing the same thing every day! (I would slap my hand to my forehead now, but it is also burnt and would equal pain beyond measure.)

So my plan for the next month is to start confusing the crap out of my muscles! I'm going to cut down on running to only 2 days a week and throw in some weight training with this video that Mr. Buff Dude lent me called 'The Firm.' It doesn't sound as intense as P90X or the Insanity workout, but i've done it a hand full of times and it kicked my butt. Also, next week i'm going to start that Isagenix Cleanse that I've been putting off. We'll see how it goes considering I've done it twice and never made it the whole 9 days.

And on top of all that I'm also going to start an exercise journal. I'll take down my measurements and weight once a week every Sunday and log my exercises every day. (I recommend this for anyone to do because then you can see your results first hand and start to see a progression whether it be good or bad.) I'm also going to get a separate journal and log what I eat every day. When my poor eating habits are staring me in the face its kind of hard to ignore. (There are some great online sites that are free of charge if you're not a pen and paper kind of person. Or if you own the Wii Fit that works great too!)

Now off to put on yet another layer of lotion!

day one- check!

Ok, so I had a pretty good day, I must say! I woke up bound and determined to get back to the gym. "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step" and all that motivational crap. I had a weird but good breakfast of sauteed vegetables and turkey hot dog (not REALLY weird since I made "breakfast" at noon...) Started drinking water, built a profile on SparkPeople, did some cleaning... wait.
"What is SparkPeople?" you're probably thinking. It's a free online resource where you can build a profile that includes your fitness goals, plan, motivation, etc. They also have meal and fitness trackers and a HUGE online community. It really helps me out when I SEE what I've been eating and exactly HOW bad things can be for me. Check it out for yourself at www.sparkpeople.com If you find it a little too "fluffy" for you but still like the idea of a meal and fitness tracker, then check out www.fitday.com They're both awesome websites. Fitday is just a little more straightforward while SparkPeople is a little more motivational.
Anyway, I finally got off my fat ass and went back to the gym. It felt sooo incredible to walk in those doors again. I did strength training on my back and calves and 30 minutes of cardio (10 on the elliptical to warm up, then 20 after strength training).
THEN I went in the sauna, which I find ironic considering I LIVE in one! I find saunas to be so soothing and the perfect wind down after a workout. I put a deep conditioner in my hair too, so I was killing two birds with one stone. After the sauna came the cold shower which was, frankly, orgasmic. It literally felt better than some sex I've had.
I finished my venture into the outdoors by going to Trader Joe's and stocking up on a few healthy snacks (hummus and pita, yogurt, etc.) I think I'm going to have to become rather boring in the food department. I heard once that it helps if you have the same meal every day, like always have the same healthy breakfast. Unfortunately I don't think it counts if you decide to have the same lunch on the way to work everyday and it includes a cheeseburger and a large sweet tea...
The rest of my day wasn't so productive and I'm hoping it doesn't reverse the effects of my workout this morning, er, afternoon. I did some cleaning, but that was about it. And finished season 2 of Dexter (which you HAVE to watch! It's more addicting than Little Debbie!) And I admit, when I got home from the gym, I wanted to take a nap. Badly.
Right now as I blog, I'm a tad sore and I would give my RIGHT ARM for the last of the ice cream in the fridge. The devil on my shoulder keeps saying, "Hey, you did great today! Three healthy meals, you worked out, you got the rest of your kitchen detailed. You DESERVE it!" So I'm trying to keep my hands busy by blogging so I don't eat the ice cream. Or gnaw off one of my fingers. My belly is grumbling but I don't know if it's hunger, digestion, gas, pms, or another organ failing because of my lifestyle. I guess I'll drink MORE water, maybe a cup of hot tea and a piece of fruit to curb the sweet craving. Nighttime is always the worst for me...
If you've made it this far, I commend you. I'll try not to bore you with every detail of my life by making my blogs incessantly long. Besides, it'll probably hurt to type once I chew off a knuckle.

"Who the heck are you?"

Who is this "Muffin Top" that dares to write on the blog? I'm sure you'll see I need to be here once you hear my story. Here goes...

Have you ever heard of Gabriel Iglesias? He has a moniker for "heavy" that I've adopted: "fluffy." I'll often say "I'm not fat, I'm fluffy. I'm in shape, round is a shape. What do you like to do with fluffy things? You like to cuddle with them, you like to pet them, they keep you warm. Just like a Cadillac, I'm built for comfort, not for speed. Everyone looks the same in the dark, I'm just softer." When the guests in my restaurant compliment the suggestion I gave them, I'll say, "Fluffy girls know what's good. Don't trust the skinny bitches running around here!"

As far back as I remember, I've been fluffy. In sixth grade, I was petrified of those stupid physical fitness tests. The mile run was my mortal enemy. Who gives a crap how far I can jump or how many pull ups I can do? I would love to blame genetics for my size (I do come from the "average American family," ie, overweight) but I can't. My brother has always been thin. Of course when we would go to Sizzler as a kid, he would fill his plate with 1,000 kinds of fruit and Jell-O and I would fill mine with chicken strips, potato salad and extra chocolate on my ice cream.

In my family, we celebrate with food. We mourn with food. We medicate with food. We babysit with food. We reward with food. We eat when we're bored. We eat when we're happy. We snack before dinner to "tide us over." Seconds were never discouraged if there was some left over. I can't tell you how many times I heard, "If you don't finish your dinner, you won't get any dessert." For my brother, this was fine. He'd leave the extra on his plate (much to my mother's chagrin) whereas I would keep going even if I was full because I wanted that oh so sweet, sugary, creamy, chocolaty goodness.

As I got into my teen years, I became rebellious. My mom and I got into it constantly (90% of it my fault). The only place I could think to turn was food. It became my happy place. Angry? Have four Oreos and milk and you'll feel better. Pissed off because you got a bad grade on a test? Fritos and bean dip will do the trick.

Don't even get me started once I got my first job and my first car! I've always worked in restaurants where there is an endless supply of extras, mistakes, leftovers, etc. I worked at Burger King for like six months. During your shift, you got a free small fry and free soda. If there "happened" to be an extra Whopper leftover...

The ramifications for my "drive thru diet" and constant restaurant food presence (not to mention a SERIOUS Dr. Pepper addiction) first reared its ugly head when I was 20. I woke up at 7 am the morning after a Jack in the Box binge with searing pain in my side. It was gallbladder disease. An ultrasound showed that I had major stones and needed surgery ASAP. Only I had no insurance. So, I had to go back to school so I could get back on my dad's insurance. While I was waiting for all the paperwork to go through, I literally COULD NOT EAT more than 30 grams of fat a day for a YEAR. That meant a year without fries, burgers, chicken strips and a year full of teriyaki chicken bowls, white fish, salads, grilled chicken and fruit. The several times I broke that rule, I had SEARING WHITE HOT PAIN in my stomach and on several occasions the pain was so severe that I threw up. According to my mom, the pain I experienced during those episodes is equivalent or worse than childbirth. It hurts THAT BAD.

I still drank Dr. Pepper (since the gallbladder is affected by fat and not sugar), ate sorbet and didn't work out but I lost 85 pounds and fit into a size 14 jean for the first time since the beginning of high school. It felt awesome. So what did I do once my body was healed? Celebrated. With Jack in the Box. I had come full circle. But of course, I decided that subconsciously sugar was OK because hey, I had lost weight while still drinking Dr. Pepper, right?

Since then it's been an endless cycle of drive thru abuse, eating at work (did I mention I worked at The CHEESECAKE Factory for 6 years?) and procrastinating my way out of working out. I joined gyms several times, would be going strong for a week, and then would have a bad day and drown my sorrows in some Phish Food (Ben & Jerry's). Then I would feel so guilty for giving into my craving that I would feel like a failure and "it's already blown anyway," and go into it again.

I'm sure you're all thinking, "Just put the fork down. Don't buy the ice cream at the store. Drive PAST McDonald's, not THROUGH McDonald's. A cheeseburger never solved anything." If those are your thoughts, you don't understand. Just like a heroin addict or an alcoholic are constantly looking for their next fix, it's the same feeling for me. When I'm eating, I'm happy. I'm content. My problems are on hold. And once I'm done, I'm looking forward to my next "fix." The difference is, you don't need alcohol or heroin to survive. You need food. Walk into an AA meeting and tell them that they HAVE to drink JUST ONE BEER everyday and see what happens.

Einstein (I think) defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I have to break the cycle of insanity. Here are the challenges I face:

*Clinical depression and an anxiety disorder for which I am currently on medication.

*A serious, serious sugar addiction.

*A foot that is in a lot of pain due to a steel door kicking incident two years ago that was never given a chance to heal properly.

*A gift to be able to find ANY EXCUSE UNDER THE SUN to not go to the gym. Here are some of my favorites:

"It's too hot to drive there."

"I haven't had any water yet so I'm going to dehydrate."

"I haven't had breakfast yet so I won't have any energy once I'm there."

"I just ate. I'll get a cramp."

"I have to wash my work uniform."

"I want to see if anyone comments on my facebook page."

"Just ONE MORE episode of Golden Girls and I'll go."

"I'm going to have to get gas on the way there and I'm short on cash."

"I HAVE to scrub my shower doors."

"I can't find my Ipod headphones."

"If I work out now, I won't have any energy for work."

Here's my plan. Christina has challenged us to take on the various gimmicks every six weeks and test the results. Because of the challenges I face and since I have so far to go (80-90 pounds), I need a baseline of my behavior, moods and habits.

I plan on doing what doctors recommend: eat right and exercise. I asked my doctor what "eat right" was and he said "low carb, low calorie and low fat." Not just ONE, but all three. Doctors recommend a minimum of 30 minutes of cardio a day, five days a week so that will be the minimum I include. They also recommend strength exercises (weights) to build muscle and therefore increase metabolism.

Disclaimer: I already have a gym membership and I have already been trained on the use of free weights and machines at the gym. If you're not, I highly recommend either a personal trainer or learning from a friend how to use the equipment. The staff at gyms are generally friendly and would rather show you how to use something correctly then risk you hurting yourself. Gyms typically have a variety of activities, classes and resources (like pools, spas and saunas) that you may not otherwise have access to. You can also check your local recreation center as LOTS of times they'll have gyms in them that don't require a downpayment or a contract, you simply pay month to month.

My goal is to blog honestly about how I'm doing. How I'm feeling. The challenges I'm facing. What I'm hoping to see is a decrease in anxiety and stress. I'm hoping to break the sugar addiction. I did it once (for a month) and I can do it again. After six weeks, I'll try something new, whether it be a new workout like hot yoga or the Insanity workout or whatever. My goal is to be honest. Not for me, but for you. Because I want you to see the journey. I'm not an informercial that's going to give you the "before" and "after." I'm going to show you how it's done. But I have to show myself that I can do it first.

I'm back! June 29th, 2010.... Judgement Day

Ya ya ya I know what you're thinking... "This chick said that she was going to blog every damn day about fitness and health and look! She hasn't been on here since May!"

Well there is a lesson to be learned here: What doesn't work is committing to something you're not committed to. Duh

The truth is i've been blogging... however it's been in my head. Every time i've stepped out to exercise or talked to a friend about it i've been thinking about all of the great material I have to write about. But when it comes down to it and I get home, I find something to distract myself with (ie... playing on facebook, watching TV, reading lame teeny bopper books). Does this also translate to health and exercise? YES! Do I always find something to distract me from going and working out or eating healthy foods? ABSOLUTELY!!!! No coincidence that there is some correlation there. *Slaps hand to forehead*

So in order to keep myself in check when it comes to this goal of blogging every day I decided to tell EVERYONE about it. Yes... EVERYONE! So if I stop i'll hear it from at least 50 people and let's face it, being bitched out by 50+ people is something I would like to avoid. So in order to get mass media out on this thing I started a Facebook group called Women's Fitness Trail Club. I invited all of my friends in the area so that way I wouldn't be doing this alone. Good plan? We'll see how many of them step up to the challenge.

Alright, lets get started: Today I went to meet Friend S at the Brea Loop like I usually do about 2 times a week. The clouds over head did not look promising so I decided to start knowing that she would probably catch up to me. While I was in the parking lot my friend Freeze drives up! I haven't seen her in a while and it was a surprise to see her there on our old stomping ground. (Last summer her and I would go on these awesome biking and running adventures that had taken us into some pretty weird areas. If I can find the videos i'll post them.)

Freeze and I start off together at a brisk walk which eventually (because of my competitive nature) turned into a run. I run better when i'm running to catch up to someone, or i'm running to stay ahead. This is something I know works for me because coming in second place is not an option. I know its not a race, but whatever.

For the first time, (in god knows how long) I actually passed the point I usually stop running and start doing this pathetic looking power walk. Was it to push myself harder or was it to get as far ahead in 1st place as I could? Both. I was so proud of myself that I actually did my little butt shaking dance. However, that only continued for about 10 seconds before I realized that some guy and his retriever were staring.

As for healthy eating its not going so good. As I sit here and blog i've had about 2 cups of coffee with that very good, but O so bad for you french vanilla creamer. I've been wanting to start that Isagenix cleanse but keep coming up with some lame excuse about why I can't. "Oh there's a wedding this weekend," and "Oh there is 'so and so's' BBQ and their feelings will get hurt if I don't eat the food", AAAND "ooooooh 4th of July weekend is coming up and I can't do it then because of the fireworks." Are any of these viable excuses? I think the one about the fireworks is. I'm sure no one else would agree though.

So on to friends I have on board for this insane project:

My dear friend M will be guest writing on this blog. I trust her implicitly to give everyone all of the funniest details imaginable when it comes to weight loss, gain, and general health issues.

More friends will be joining soon I just need to get committed to calling them.